NEW WEBSITE!!!

Heyall! I have started a new website!
please visit it at the link below. :) Thank you
officialcatland.org

Best Chinese Conversation Ever.

×小雯打電話給小美× 

小雯：喂，小美在嗎？

媽媽 : 他不在，我是他媽媽。你有事嗎？

小雯：沒有。請他回來以後打電話給我。

媽媽 : 好。

小雯：謝謝。

媽媽：不客氣！

×小美回小雯的電話×

小雯：喂，你是那位？

小美：我是小美， 我媽媽叫我回你的電話。。。有是嗎？

小雯：我在網上買了一隻狗！
小美：他到了沒有？
小雯：他還沒到，可是他今天晚上會寄到我的家。你要过來看看嗎？
小美：很想！
小雯：好，你吃完晚飯以後过我的家，可是別太晚。 來怎麼？
小美：好的。 再見！
小雯：再見。
I hope you enjoy. The Official Catlish English Dictionary will be out sometime in the summer like I said on my Instagram http://instagram.com/catscanmeow subscribe to meee :)

Papercraft! How you can make your own minecraft chess set!

Papercraft is something you can do in your spare time.
You will need:

1. Scissors
2. Paper
3. Printer (with color ink)
4. glue
5. tape (optional)

Print a template online and start cutting and gluing! I recommend printing on cardstock, because paper is too flimsy (but paper will do just fine)

There are a whole bunch of templates here.
The Minecraft Chess Set is here.
Now you have something to do over the summer!
Happy papercrafting!!!

Hydrogen Peroxide: Great For Your Teeth!

Hydrogen peroxide is commonly used for antiseptic purposes to clean scrapes or cuts, but did you know it can be used for your teeth? (It even says so on the bottle) Teeth whiteners you buy at the store contain a compound called carbamide peroxide which breaks down to urea and hydrogen peroxide. (Urea removes stains and hydrogen peroxide becomes a bleaching agent) It may irritate your gums, tongue, and/or the roof of your mouth, but if you swallow hydrogen peroxide, it can damage your internal membranes and esophagus. (SO DON'T SWALLOW) (The most common problems with rinsing hydrogen peroxide is mild gum irritation, and/or temperature sensitivity. Hydrogen peroxide also fights bacteria in your mouth and gingivitis (bleeding and inflamed gums) Hydrogen peroxide prevents plaque and bacteria build up, which leads to a fresher breath. Because of the oxidation of hydrogen peroxide, it gets to mostly everywhere in your mouth where bacteria tend to stay. I use the solution that my dentist recommends which is 50% water, and 50% hydrogen peroxide. 
Source: HERE

The Cat, A Short Story

Once upon a time, there was was a tiny, but lively village filled with many people. One day, the village got infested by wolves, so the villagers took as many mice and cats as they could to the village and set them free. Soon, the dogs dissapeared, and the villagers had a party. During the party, something came knocking at the door. It was a police cat! All the villagers were banned from their village forever. Soon, a baby cat was borned (no, not a grammatical error) and the whole kingdom (formerly the village) cheered at had a party. During the party, there was a knock on the entrance to the kingdom.
TO BE CONTINUED...

Cat Land Story- Mary

"Mary!" Mama yelled, It's time ta leave!" I packed up my things and got ready for my trip to he most famouse sleeping volcano in the world, Mount Good Night. After we left our house, Mama insisted that we burned down our home, so I did the honors of destroying our tiny shack we called home. I got on to our family imaginary car made of badly colored cardboard (I made it when I was ten, and I still can't color things well) and started to walk. 200,000 miles of walking left to go.
30 years pass.
I am very concerned about Mama. She's getting younger by the minute, and I'm serious. When I woke up this morning, she had a lot less wrinkles on her face than 20 years ago. Well, 100,000 miles left! I'm so excited!
20 Years later...
I'm so confused and worried. Mama's gone! When I woke up this morning and went into Mama's room, I only saw a 10 year old girl! I must leave without Mama, and take this girl with me. She's my responsibility now. Well, 50,000 miles to go!
30 years later-
I'm so sad. I failed my duty in taking care of the girl! When I woke up this morning, I saw a dead baby on the bed where the girl slept last night. Has she dissapeared with Mama? Or is this dead baby actually Mama? I'm getting old and I don't think I can make it. I'm already 93 and I still have to walk 20 miles while carrying a piece of dynamite.
6 months later...
I'm finally there! "I'm so excited," I said to myself, as I ignited the dynamite. BOOM! The volcano erupted hot lava and Mary ran as fast as she could. Once the lava cooled, Mary climbed the towering volcano. "3.....2.....1....." said Mary as she prepared to jump down. Mary jumped and screamed, falling to her death
20 years later...
Sam climbed the most famouse sleeping volcano, Mount Good Night and looked down. He saw a massive pile of bones, human bones.

 

Description Of Cat Land 1

(Don't Mind the Grammar.)

Cat Land is basically earth for cats, but it's under the crust of the earth. The "layers" scientists think are rock/stuff layers are actually levels of cat land! The core of the earth is cat land's sun.in order to prevent the cats from burning, when every living thing dies (except for cats) they will be sent to the sun in cat land and will be either accepted or rejected. If they're accepted they enter cat land. If they are rejected, they are sent to the sun and they die. Their bones are turned to an insulation type of thing which surrounds the sun and protects the cats. The cats live forever in cat land because of cat gravity and chemicals sprayed everywhere 24/7. The cat gravity makes the fur of the cats always go up. (the fur is never flat) it's very very very expensive living in cat land because you have to pay for everything. The currency in cat land, currently, is Bone Kibble (because too much bones are surrounding the sun) and it would cost you maybe about 3000 bone kibble, to buy a bag of human fingers (popped) lots of flavors too! Because you'd need to pay for shoes to walk into the store, the suit to wear into the store, and the electricity to close and open the door, etc... BTW the bag of human fingers is 100,000 calories and in order to get to cat land, you would need to first: learn catnese (rates are $605 an hour, 20 hours each lesson for 98 lessons, there's a special which is $1,000,000 for all lessons, no refunds which would save you 185,800!) the second step is to find a sleeping volcano and fill it with dynamite and explode the volcano. When you do that lava will come up (basically the volcano will erupt) and if you survive, you enter the volcano and there will be a slide. The slide will go down and there will be 5 tests, (kind of like citizenship tests) and the tests are testing your knowledge of catnese. as you slide, you will reach the first section which will test basic catnese (there will be two doors) if you choose the wrong door, then you will slide down to the sun in catland and die, but if you choose the right door, then you will be sent to the next section. At the 5th section, you would need to take a secret lesson (99th lesson for 200 hours) at $10,000 an hour. If you pass the test, you will be sent to catland. You can work until you make the money to buy a house which is about 6 billion bone kibble for a house which is the size of the santa anita mall, racetrack arcadia county park, and the golf course all combine. (that's the cheapest) The best best best job so far is 6 bone kibble an hour and the job is singing. (for 24 hours a day if you want) so if you work for that long, in a month you will make 7200 bone kibble (a month in cat land is 50 days) 4000 bone kibble is for food, and 3000 bone kibble is for rent on the streets (you need to pay to be homeless) (you get 25 sq ft of land) so you would have 200 BK left every month. you save a maximum of 4000 bone kibble a year! (a year in cat land is 20 months) So you would need to work for 1,500,000 years to buy your  house, or 30,000,000 months, or 1.5 billion days! (don't worry you'll live furever, talk about working for a lifetime!) But remember, there are taxes, and utilities and many other things. unless you find a free ticket somewhere on the streets In the event of a cat PEACEFULLY dying, you will give it a proper burial and funeral. Dig up the grave after 37 hours past The last Furriday of the month (earth months) and you will either find a decaying body of a cat, or a ticket to cat land! (the chances in getting a ticket are 1 in a billion, so good luck)

Cat Land Story 1- Jennifer

Jennifer loved cats since the 7th grade. Whenever someone tapped her shoulder, she would “meow.” She wasn’t a crazy cat lady, she was a cat. After practicing on her violin which meows every time she plays it, she proceeds to dinner on the floor. A bowl of kibble with a side of leftover fish from last night’s dinner. Jennifer slowly ate her kibble, meowing every time she finished a piece. After four hours, she was finally finished with dinner and she went into the living room to play with her ball of yarn.

“JENNIFER DO YOUR HOMEWORK,” her mom said, but Jennifer “meowed innocently and went back to her ball of yarn. Soon Jennifer was tired, so she crawled on all fours to her bowl of milk. She started sipping the milk, but she fell asleep, and her face landed in the bowl of milk. When Jennifer’s mom woke up the next morning and saw her daughter’s head in the bowl of milk, she immediately picked her up, set Jennifer on the couch,  and went to her laptop.

“Hmm... veterinarians near San Francisco, CA. Wait, I think she should go to the hospital,” Jennifer’s mom said as she reached for her phone. The ambulance, followed by the police and the firefighters came, and immediately took Jennifer to the hospital. After waiting for four hours in the emergency room, it was time for Jennifer to be examined by a doctor.

“Hmmmm.... PETS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN HOSPITALS, GET OUT,” the doctor shouted.

Jennifer’s mom called the taxi and went to the nearest veterinarian, but it was too late... Jennifer got a rabies and flea shot before she was put on animal life support.....

TO BE CONTINUED...

The Hipstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

The Hipster

By: Victoria Tovmasyan, Pearl Yang, Caroline Lee, and Allen Bohanan.

PS! some words in parentheses are just comments.

Once upon a time, there was a middle-school student, not unlike the students you see in this classroom. His name was Stanley Williams, and (don’t act so surprised) was totally obsessed with social networking. His favorite go-to’s included Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Myspace and the like, but he especially enjoyed going on Myspace. Then one day, when Stanley (omgomgomg stanley) was in science class, he whipped out his iPhone 9S (nine inches) (oh god that sounds weird) to take a few pictures of their electromagnet project. This is gonna get so many likes on Instagram, he thought. (Stanley h8s u pearl. Perfect.)

But right when he pressed the camera button on his smartphone, the sleek device accidentally slipped from his (tan and slightly muscled) hand, and...

A stifled gasp escaped Stanley’s throat as his beloved nine-inch long phone tumbled through the air, (all the way from his tall, lean, 6’1 frame) onto the table, where the electromagnet laid. “ZOMG!!” he screamed out loud (manlyishly, of course. Prior to the request of Pearl), as the phone landed on the powerful magnet, it exploded into a million tiny, glowing sparks. (that started a fire inside Stanley’s soul and burned out his desire to live. UNNECESSARILY DRAMATIC!!!!!!!!!)

After the thick, gray cloud of smoke around the burned-out electromagnet and the cracked iPhone 9S cleared, Stanley’s eyes were still watering. He had a gut feeling that something horrible had just happened, but didn’t know what exactly. (Then he realized ants were headed toward him. Of course he needed to scream “ZOMG ANTZ ON DA FLOOR. EWEWEWEW”)

What the heck just happened? he thought, panicking to himself. Then he saw a (uber dramatic) silhouette of a man with a beanie emerging from the clearing smoke. The figure was holding what looked like a humongous Starbucks cup in his right hand, and his left hand looked like it was holding a rectangular-shaped object, of which Stanley assumed was his burned-out iPhone.

“No, no, no my precious iPhone! Wait a minute... Hey, hey you! Give me that...” Stanley said angrily, as he reached toward the figure’s hand. The Figure turned around and Stanley faced a mysterious moustached man wearing a shirt which read in white print, “Oh my gosh, this is soooo like totes going on Instagram!” Stanley quickly reached for the stranger’s hand and tried to snatch away his iPhone. “Ouch!” the stranger exclaimed, annoyed. Stanley was purrplexed (haha see what i did there) but he soon realized the stranger’s hand was, in fact, an iPhone.

“ZOMG! WHAT THE HECK.” As if things weren’t weird enough, a cat with a vintage typewriter strapped to its back appeared with a thin, flexible, and tube connected to it’s stomach (probably its belly button) with coffee flowing through it from the trenta² sized Starbucks cup that the figure was holding (yup that’s 7.5 gallons of coffee right there), with the name The Hipstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, messily written in black marker.

Just don’t even read this paragraph. (“OMGEEZ, this is SOOOO totes going on Instagram,” The Hipstaaaaaaaaaaaaaa said as he started to take a picture of the cat. “Look what I found! #cat #coffee #weird #lawl,” The Hipstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa said as he was posting the picture, ”I wonder how many likes this will get on Instagram?” the Hipstaaaaaaaaaaaaa mused to himself, in front of a bewildered Stanley. “Hmm, I know. I’ll like my own picture! Hmm. Yes there it is! One like! ZOMG, I am soooooo popular,” said The Hipstaaaaaaaaaaa. The Hipstaaaaaaaaaa spilled some coffee on the floor to feed the ants, with Stanley NOT crying Manlyishly and left the classroom with #MemeCat #meowing on The Hipstaaaaaaaaaa’s shoulder.)

The Hipstaaaaaaa was strolling on the sidewalk next to the Main Stream nonchalantly with #MemeCat #meowing on his shoulder, until he saw a man surrounded by a crowd of people. Must see what is happening! The Hipstaaaaaaaa thought to himself.

There were about 20 people surrounding the dude that was apparently having a seizure, and all of them were very concerned. “OMG guy having a seizure... THIS IS SO GONNA GO ON INSTAGRAM!!!!” “HAHA SOOO FUNNY #funnies #LOL #seizurrree.” The Hipstaaaaaaaa posted a picture of the man onto Instagram. Then, when his eyes were glued to the phone, The Hipstaaaaaaa tripped and accidentally spilled his scalding hot Hazelnut Macchiato onto the dude having a seizure!! “ZOMGEEZ!! I’M TOTES SO SORRY FOR SPILLING COFFEE ON YOU!,” The Hipstaaaa said as he continued to pour coffee on the stranger.

(“Oh my gosh LAWL. TEEHEE I DROPPED MY CUP OF SUPER DUPER HOT COFFEE. I’M SO SORRY FOR BURNING YOUR PRETTY FACE BUT MY HAND WAS TIRED. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!!! AND THE FIREFIGHTERS. AND PARAMEDICS AND SECURITY AND NURSE AND DOCTOR AND SURGEON AND CARDIOLOGIST AND VETERINARIANS  AND LIFEGUARD AND FBI AND CIA AND HOMELAND SECURITY AND LAPD AND NYPD AND SFPD AND OBAMA AND JOHN BOEHNER AND JOHN ROBERTS AND JUDY CHIU AND JOE BIDEN AND MICHAEL BLOOMBERG AND THE BLUE MAN GROUP AND THE MEN IN BLACK AND MARK ZUCKERBERG AND BILL GATES AND PARIS HILTON AND HANNAH MONTANA AND SIMON COWELL AND PEARL YANG AND VICTORIA TOVMASYAN AND CAROLINE LEE AND ALLEN BOHANAN AND MRS. HOLCOMB AND DR. HILLMAN AND MR. ACKER AND JERRY BROWN AND THE GUY THAT WORKS AT CVS AND #MEMECAT AND CHEMISTRY CAT AND GRUMPY CAT AND NYAN CAT AND GERONIMO STILTON AND THE OVERLY ATTACHED GIRLFRIEND AND BREAD FISH AND THAT HOMELESS CAT DOWN THE STREET AND THAT PHARMACIST AND RADIOLOGISTS AND METEOROLOGISTS AND ALL THE ZOOLOGISTS AND  SCIENTISTS AND MRS. CALLISTO AND MRS. OH AND ALL DA FAMOUS PEOPLE AND ETC!)

Soon, paramedics and firefighters arrived at the hectic scene, and were all confused because there were so many people spazzing around. The Hipstaaaaaaaa decided that it would be the right time to get away, but right when he took a step backwards from the crowd, he felt a huge hand clamp tightly onto his shoulder.

“And where do you think you’re going?” The Hipstaaaaaaa whirled around, surprised. A pair of deep, black eyes stared menacingly back at him, and the Hipstaaaaa realized that it was the seizure guy that he had earlier poured scalding hot coffee on! “I.. uh.. I’m looking for my cat” The Hipstaaaaaa backed away, checking out his attacker LOOOOL.

The stranger sported a tight, wetsuit kind of clothing. But instead of the traditional black, it was decorated with flashy yellow, red, and blue stripes. On the stranger’s chest, the words “MAINSTREAM MAN” was printed in pure white, curly letters. The Hipstaaaaaa snickered out loud, feeling proud of his hipster-y attire.

“Oh my gosh, Mainstream Man? That’s soooooooooooooooooooo mainstream,” said the Hipstaaaa. “You know, I am going to have to zap you with my laser on my iPhone. After I take a picture of you and post it on Instagram, of course.” All of a sudden, Mainstream Man started to attack The Hipstaaaa. “#MemeCat, help meeee!!!” But #MemeCat was nowhere to be found. The Hipstaaaaaa meowed and activated his magic beanie #MemeCat made for him, and the beanie automatically turned into a set of handcuffs and cuffed Mainstream Man.

There was only one thing The Hipstaa could do to end the commotion, destroy his iPhone hand. He took a deep breath, and smashed the iPhone, and collapsed. All of a sudden, everyone stopped spazzing and everything went back to normal. EXCEPT... The Hipstaaaa lay there dead. #MemeCat appeared with his typewriter and started crying because he saw The Hipstaaaaaaaaaaa dead. #MemeCat started to #meow and #cry sadly. A coffee tear dropped from #MemeCat’s eyes and plopped onto The Hipstaaaa’s hand. At that moment, The Hipstaaaa gasped for air and became alive once again. He hugged #MemeCat and the typewriter exploded with confetti, not allowing the Hipstaaaa to be revived ever again. The Hipstaaaa lost his magical trenta^2 coffee cup and died at the age of 26 from coffee poison. (Die Young by Kesha plays softly in the background)

How you can make your own little birdie!

Materials you will need:

Cloth/fabric (2 different colors or patterns) 

Sewing machine or hand sewing kit with thread and a needle

Get the pattern at http://www.scribd.com/mobile/doc/100968502

Instructions: cut out the pattern and trace it onto your fabric. Then cut out the 2 pieces. BE SURE TO TRACE OUT THE WING PART. Cut out the wind part too.

For the wings, cut out a shape larger than the size of the wing hole. You only need one piece.

Place the wing fabric in between the two bird pieces BEFORE you start swing.

Now you start sewing the side of the bird starting at a corner. Once you're done, sew the wing piece in between the two bird pieces.

Voila! You're done! You can turn it into a keychain or an ornament!

I go this tutorial and pattern from the website here: http://www.dosmallthingswithlove.com/2012/07/diy-felt-peep-hole-birdies-with-free.html?m=1

Be sure to visit the site!

Please comment below, google plus this post, Facebook like, tweet this, share the blog, subscribe to the blog, and share this post with your friends! 

Feedback is appreciated.

The Cotton Gin POV

The Cotton Gin: How The Industrial Revolution Started

By: Allen Bohanan

ISSUE 54 January 5, 1857

---

The start of the Industrial Revolution was mainly based on the cotton gin, invented by Eli Whitney.

I am in Richmond, Virginia  with the former Yale graduate, Eli Whitney to discuss about the invention of the cotton gin.

In 1873 Eli worked as a tutor for children on a plantation in Georgia. The very first day Eli went to the plantation, he saw for the very first time a cotton boll. As he walked to the small classroom, Eli noticed that cleaning the cotton was very difficult. You had to pick the seeds from cotton by hand, one seed at a time. Seeing the complication of cleaning cotton Eli had an idea that would change the world of cotton forever.

On that day, Eli wrote a letter to his father saying that his idea would be an innovation to the United States. Six months later, Eli made a fully working machine that would greatly help the economy of the South.

The cotton gin was a simple contraption made of rotating combs to separate the seeds from the cotton bolls. Thanks to the cotton gin, someone could clean 50 times the amount of cotton than a person cleaning by hand!

Over the years, many Southerners began planting cotton, and soon it became the South’s most important cash crop.  As 1860 reached, cotton sales overseas made more sale than all other United States exports combined!

---

Yes, the cotton gin was very beneficial, but was it good for everyone?

For slaves, the cotton gin meant more work. Because of the cotton gin, more people wanted to plant cotton, so plantation owners bought more land and slaves. Because of the rising demand for cotton, the slave population in the South increased by six times! From 500,000 slaves to over three million slaves!

Special Guest! The Call To Kill By: Kyle Chiu

We have a special guest writer Kyle Chiu! Enjoy the story.
Here's Part One of the story.
The Whole Story Is here!

Train Trouble

Silence. At least, that’s how it used to be before everyone started to rush out here into this boomtown. Now? Everyone settles in Dodge City, Kansas, and silence no longer became the description of the town. In fact, the environment was anything but silent. The city had become a growing criminal hub, with the criminals outnumbering the county sheriff by thirty to one, with that number growing daily. And there was only one sheriff.

One robber stowed away onto a train due to this city. The man’s name had long since died out, and those who knew it were either dead or smart enough to keep their mouths shut tight. This was the leader of the infamous group, the Six-Shot Stranglers. It was said that they’d do anything so long as there was money at the end. He wore a torn and ragged cowboy hat, a dusty plaid flannel shirt, and ripped blue jeans. To go along with this, he walked with a limp from an old bullet wound and wore spurred boots, the right one with a holster containing a classic Colt Single Action Army, specially modified for a clean, silent kill. Another revolver, carrying blanks, was concealed in his thick leather belt.

The next thing everyone knew, there were now two people in the front control room, one of them being armed and holding a cocked revolver to the other person’s head, all six bullets ready to fire, and the hammer pulled back all the way.

“Stop the train.”

“Okay! Jeez, you just needed to-”

If you were to sit in the front cabin, all you would hear was a muffled cry, then a snap, then a thump, then something that resembled a slice. More slices. Then a long slice and a scream.  A puddle of blood would soon be visible underneath the door. The criminal walked out of the control room with blood all over his hands and shirt. He quickly drew his blank gun, spinning it on his index, and unloaded three blanks into the ceiling.

“Everyone! DOWN! And gimme all your gold, money, and jewelry!”

While this was going on, three other horsemen rode up to the other train cars and proceeded with the robbery process. One passenger started to stand up and draw two revolvers, but he quickly sat back down with a hole in his head measuring half an inch in diameter with a bullet occupying the cavity. Splat. Blood sprayed to other passengers and misted in the air. No one heard any shot.

Meanwhile, the only sheriff came, galloping across town on the fastest horse he could find. He slid off the horse before it came to a complete halt, his hand coming down to his Remington Model 1858. This was the preferred weapon of choice for him because this gun was able to have the cylinder detach from the frame, making reloading much faster. He was dressed with a clean black cowboy hat, a white shirt, black jeans and boots, along with a black vest. The officer also had a leather belt with a holster containing the remarkable pistol with extra cylinders, some with “special ammunition”. And who could forget that six-pointed star on that vest? However, he did not know his own name, but there were a few hints about it.

The leader of the group collected the two guns dropped by the corpse, which was now becoming a blood dispenser. He collected the ammunition and then threw the stained revolvers off of the train and into the river below.

“Anyone else wanna try and... ‘negotiate?’” he said with a chuckle.

“Me,” replied the sheriff, appearing out of nowhere and (quite impossibly) holding two corpses with a single hand, the other hand on his gun. Blood was rushing out in an enormous stream right below the Bowie knife sticking out of the chest of one of the victims, while the other was suffering from his head twisted nearly 180 degrees from its normal position, along with a small explosion of blood every now and then coming from a gigantic slit in his throat.

“Trying to scare me, eh?” the leader spat.

“Just doin’ my business, nothing’ much,” said the marshal, tossing the bloodied bodies into the water below.

“I hope you’re not... chicken... or anything,” laughed the leader, calmly collecting the treasured items from the passengers and placing them gently into a sack.

In one moment the sheriff was standing in a position that almost resembled someone who had too much to drink, then in another moment a bullet had come out of his gun and into the bottom of the burlap sack, creating a hole big enough for the small items to fall out.

“Oh, so... I take it you wanna fight this one out,” yelled the remaining robber sarcastically, dropping the sack and reaching for his gun.

But in around a single decisecond, the gun was knocked out of his hand by another bullet, belonging to the officer’s gun again. In fact, the force of the gun was so strong that the target’s fingers were badly bloodied, some of the blood was spurting into his eye, and the fingers nearly dislocated.

“AAAAAHHHHHHHH!” cried the nameless gang leader, holding his fingers and eye, bending forward. The sheriff ran forward, grabbed the criminal’s shoulders, forced them down, then kneed his face. The bandit fell backward, a waterfall of red and purple coming from his nose and arching in the air as he fell.

“Heh. I bet you think you’re tough,” croaked the crook after he landed with a loud thud on the ground, coughing up blood as he talked. The western cop came and firmly planted his boot on his enemy’s chest. The revolver came out of the holster nice and quick, aimed at the thief, the hammer fully down.

“Any last words, buddy?”

“Go. To. He-” The bandit’s wheezing was interrupted by the rotation and slide of the officer’s boot, exposing the spurs toward the victim. Then a thrust of the boot. Then there was the sound of ripping and slicing. Sort of like, cutting an apple.

“AAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGHHHH...” blood spurted from the body much like a fountain in front of a fancy hotel.

“Oops,” nonchalantly and sarcastically mocked the sheriff, “I must have slipped. That’s what you get,” he casually continued as he shook the ripped clothing and intestines off his boot, “for messin’ with the citizens in this town.”

The law enforcement agent slowly walked away as citizens stared at him, eyes wide and jaws dropped.

The Whole Story Is here!

Excerpt From The Outre Stranger

“Sean, stop playin’ with your toys and get over here! I have a list of things Mama needs me to pick up at the store, just for you!”

“But I don’t wanna! Why don’t ya do it yourself?” I asked as I lingered in the kitchen, playing with my toys.

        “Get over here NOW, before I tell Mama ‘bout what ya did. If I tell Mama, she’s gonna whoop that rear of yours!” Paula said as she was knitting on our polished rocking chair.

        “OK!” I said as I strolled toward the living room.

        “Here’s the list, be sure to ONLY pick up the things on the list. Stay safe, and finish my chores when ya get back!”

I looked at the list:

-a dozen eggs

-5 large packs of flour

-2 cups of sugar

-6 small packs of yeast

        “This looks like a recipe more than a shopping list, Paula. What do ya think Mama is gonna do with these ingredients?” I questioned Paula, after reading the shopping list.

        “I’ll tell ya a secret, Mama’s trying to bake some bread to sell at the local market on Sunday. She’s trying to save up money to let our whole family go on a lavish vacation to Europe! Sounds exciting, but we will need to save money. Haggle for a good price on the goods so we can save up Sean!”

        “Ok! I will definitely get a bargain price for all the goods. By the way, what’s a dozen?”

        “A dozen is 12, ya understand now?” Paula explained as she handed me $2.00, “don’t spend all of the money!”

        “Will do!” I replied, as I skipped out of the door onto our lawn.

I took a deep breath of the dry desert air as I gazed upon the rough sand and blooming cacti. Hurriedly, I skipped to the local town market, James’, so I could return home with spare time to play with my toys. I stopped at the front door of the short and wide, tan market standing amidst the dry Texan desert. I took a deep breath before I went in the market, because I have never had any good experiences in James’.

Read the rest here

Be back at 3 for the next article!

Elisha Otis and the elevator

Elisha Otis didn’t really invent the elevator, but he DID invent the first safety brakes for elevators which are still used today.

Elisha Otis was asked by his employer to move equipment into their warehouse. Before the invention of the elevator brakes, most elevators were extremely dangerous, because if the main cable of the elevator broke, people on it would crash to the floor, and die. Elisha’s employer needed an elevator that was able to carry equipment and people to the higher floors of the building safely.

In 1853 at the Crystal Palace Exposition in New York, Elisha demonstrated his invention. Elisha ascended very high from the floor on his elevator, and cut the elevator’s cord. Everyone was surprised because the elevator didn’t crash to the floor.

Here’s how the elevator worked.

• The elevator compartment is raised and lowered by a hoist and pulley system. A moving counterweight on the other side helped with the movement of the elevator.
• On the top of the elevator car, there was a metal safety device made of pivots and spring loaded arms.
• If the elevator’s main cable snaps, the springs on the device would push out two bars called pawls, so the pawls could be locked into the teeth located on the sides of the elevator shaft.

Elisha Otis’ elevator was used as a freight elevator, but he soon installed a commercial elevator. His first elevator that was installed in a store in New York, in 1857 went 40 feet per minute! Although it isn’t very fast compared to the world’s fastest elevator which goes 37.7 MPH, or 3,313 feet, it’s still about 3X faster than the elevator in the quad. And it was the first commercial passenger ever!

The elevator brakes allowed skyscrapers to be reality. Without the help of Otis’ invention, people would have been too afraid to go on elevators and we wouldn’t see buildings like: The Burj Khalifa, Eiffel Tower, Empire State Building, CN Tower, and much more buildings.

This is the first article to start the celebration. Be back at 1:45 for the next article!

 

National Memo & Waiter and Waitress Day

Happy National Memo and Waitress/Waiter Day!!!
Info-here
List of National days-here

How YOU can make your own sheep pillow!

My sheep :)

First you will need felt. Acrylic felt DOES work, but it isn't soft on your face. You can use wool felt or any other SOFT material.
Go here and print out the free lamb pillow template.
Trace out the template onto your cloth and sew the cloth together!
Leave some space, so you can stuff the sheep.
I would NOT recommend using cotton balls as stuffing because it's really hard so the sheep won't be puffy, and it wouldn't be comfortable.

If you made one, share some pictures with me :D

By the way, I got the instructions from the site here. It has the tutorial in greater detail. I didn't write the whole tutorial, because it isn't right to use someone else's work, I just wanted to share with you!

Frog Jumping Jubilee Day

Happy Frog Jumping Jubilee Day!
For more info: http://www.frogtown.org/

Random science tip for calculating density, volume. and mass

Use the triangle tip below to never forget the formulas:

D=M/V

M=DxV

V=M/D

D=density

M=Mass

V=Volume

International Museum Day

Happy International Museum Day!!!
More info here
Wikipedia page here
List of special days here

Pack Rat Day

Happy National Pack Rat Day!
For more information on pack rats, visit the Wikipedia page here. 
For a list of national days, visit this page here.