Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Cat Land Story- Mary


"Mary!" Mama yelled, It's time ta leave!" I packed up my things and got ready for my trip to he most famouse sleeping volcano in the world, Mount Good Night. After we left our house, Mama insisted that we burned down our home, so I did the honors of destroying our tiny shack we called home. I got on to our family imaginary car made of badly colored cardboard (I made it when I was ten, and I still can't color things well) and started to walk. 200,000 miles of walking left to go.
30 years pass.
I am very concerned about Mama. She's getting younger by the minute, and I'm serious. When I woke up this morning, she had a lot less wrinkles on her face than 20 years ago. Well, 100,000 miles left! I'm so excited!
20 Years later...
I'm so confused and worried. Mama's gone! When I woke up this morning and went into Mama's room, I only saw a 10 year old girl! I must leave without Mama, and take this girl with me. She's my responsibility now. Well, 50,000 miles to go!
30 years later-
I'm so sad. I failed my duty in taking care of the girl! When I woke up this morning, I saw a dead baby on the bed where the girl slept last night. Has she dissapeared with Mama? Or is this dead baby actually Mama? I'm getting old and I don't think I can make it. I'm already 93 and I still have to walk 20 miles while carrying a piece of dynamite.
6 months later...
I'm finally there! "I'm so excited," I said to myself, as I ignited the dynamite. BOOM! The volcano erupted hot lava and Mary ran as fast as she could. Once the lava cooled, Mary climbed the towering volcano. "3.....2.....1....." said Mary as she prepared to jump down. Mary jumped and screamed, falling to her death
20 years later...
Sam climbed the most famouse sleeping volcano, Mount Good Night and looked down. He saw a massive pile of bones, human bones.
 

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Description Of Cat Land 1


(Don't Mind the Grammar.)
Cat Land is basically earth for cats, but it's under the crust of the earth. The "layers" scientists think are rock/stuff layers are actually levels of cat land! The core of the earth is cat land's sun.in order to prevent the cats from burning, when every living thing dies (except for cats) they will be sent to the sun in cat land and will be either accepted or rejected. If they're accepted they enter cat land. If they are rejected, they are sent to the sun and they die. Their bones are turned to an insulation type of thing which surrounds the sun and protects the cats. The cats live forever in cat land because of cat gravity and chemicals sprayed everywhere 24/7. The cat gravity makes the fur of the cats always go up. (the fur is never flat) it's very very very expensive living in cat land because you have to pay for everything. The currency in cat land, currently, is Bone Kibble (because too much bones are surrounding the sun) and it would cost you maybe about 3000 bone kibble, to buy a bag of human fingers (popped) lots of flavors too! Because you'd need to pay for shoes to walk into the store, the suit to wear into the store, and the electricity to close and open the door, etc... BTW the bag of human fingers is 100,000 calories and in order to get to cat land, you would need to first: learn catnese (rates are $605 an hour, 20 hours each lesson for 98 lessons, there's a special which is $1,000,000 for all lessons, no refunds which would save you 185,800!) the second step is to find a sleeping volcano and fill it with dynamite and explode the volcano. When you do that lava will come up (basically the volcano will erupt) and if you survive, you enter the volcano and there will be a slide. The slide will go down and there will be 5 tests, (kind of like citizenship tests) and the tests are testing your knowledge of catnese. as you slide, you will reach the first section which will test basic catnese (there will be two doors) if you choose the wrong door, then you will slide down to the sun in catland and die, but if you choose the right door, then you will be sent to the next section. At the 5th section, you would need to take a secret lesson (99th lesson for 200 hours) at $10,000 an hour. If you pass the test, you will be sent to catland. You can work until you make the money to buy a house which is about 6 billion bone kibble for a house which is the size of the santa anita mall, racetrack arcadia county park, and the golf course all combine. (that's the cheapest) The best best best job so far is 6 bone kibble an hour and the job is singing. (for 24 hours a day if you want) so if you work for that long, in a month you will make 7200 bone kibble (a month in cat land is 50 days) 4000 bone kibble is for food, and 3000 bone kibble is for rent on the streets (you need to pay to be homeless) (you get 25 sq ft of land) so you would have 200 BK left every month. you save a maximum of 4000 bone kibble a year! (a year in cat land is 20 months) So you would need to work for 1,500,000 years to buy your  house, or 30,000,000 months, or 1.5 billion days! (don't worry you'll live furever, talk about working for a lifetime!) But remember, there are taxes, and utilities and many other things. unless you find a free ticket somewhere on the streets In the event of a cat PEACEFULLY dying, you will give it a proper burial and funeral. Dig up the grave after 37 hours past The last Furriday of the month (earth months) and you will either find a decaying body of a cat, or a ticket to cat land! (the chances in getting a ticket are 1 in a billion, so good luck)

Cat Land Story 1- Jennifer


Jennifer loved cats since the 7th grade. Whenever someone tapped her shoulder, she would “meow.” She wasn’t a crazy cat lady, she was a cat. After practicing on her violin which meows every time she plays it, she proceeds to dinner on the floor. A bowl of kibble with a side of leftover fish from last night’s dinner. Jennifer slowly ate her kibble, meowing every time she finished a piece. After four hours, she was finally finished with dinner and she went into the living room to play with her ball of yarn.
“JENNIFER DO YOUR HOMEWORK,” her mom said, but Jennifer “meowed innocently and went back to her ball of yarn. Soon Jennifer was tired, so she crawled on all fours to her bowl of milk. She started sipping the milk, but she fell asleep, and her face landed in the bowl of milk. When Jennifer’s mom woke up the next morning and saw her daughter’s head in the bowl of milk, she immediately picked her up, set Jennifer on the couch,  and went to her laptop.
“Hmm... veterinarians near San Francisco, CA. Wait, I think she should go to the hospital,” Jennifer’s mom said as she reached for her phone. The ambulance, followed by the police and the firefighters came, and immediately took Jennifer to the hospital. After waiting for four hours in the emergency room, it was time for Jennifer to be examined by a doctor.
“Hmmmm.... PETS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE IN HOSPITALS, GET OUT,” the doctor shouted.
Jennifer’s mom called the taxi and went to the nearest veterinarian, but it was too late... Jennifer got a rabies and flea shot before she was put on animal life support.....
TO BE CONTINUED...